Free To Dance
So there's been a graphic floating around social media because October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. 1 in 4 women experience an infant loss, stillbirth, or miscarriage. ONE IN FOUR. I am 1 in 4.
2 months ago I would've thought that 25% was too high, but honestly now I'm surprised that it's not higher. As I've shared my story, others have shared theirs. It's so heartbreaking.
But I am more than a number. I am more than a percentage, a statistic.
I am a daughter of the King!
I am not left grieving. I am not left hopeless. And I don't know what to say other than God is so good! He's so good!!
The scriptures we cling to in hard times are not just empty words, they're life giving, hope filled promises. And God keeps his promises.
I will extol you, O lord, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. O Lord, you have brought up my soul from sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. Sing praises to the Lord, o you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness; that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!
Psalm 30:1-5; 11-12
Yesterday I danced.
I haven't danced during worship in almost two months. I've cried, prayed, grieved, hoped, believed, trusted, mourned. But I haven't danced. Yesterday I danced.
God has turned my mourning into dancing! He's clothed me with gladness! He's traded my weeping for joy!
We aren't done processing this... Abbie being gone. I don't know if we ever really will. I'll always miss her and wish we had more time together. But she is in the best place possible and we will be together again one day! And I'm so thankful for that. And I'm so thankful that we are coming through this more in love with God, closer to him. I understand some of his character and promises on a deeper level.
And he can, and did, and does turn grieving into dancing, sadness to joy!
Death is not the end, not for those who believe. We've been promised resurrection, healed and perfect bodies on a new heaven and new earth in the presence of our God and Savior!!
Death doesn't win! God has given me some beautiful images and words and scripture to cling to and fight the enemy with when I doubt that he was with us, when I doubt his goodness, when I doubt Abbie is with him, when I doubt his love, when I doubt him. And now we are stronger. We are closer. I am so thankful.
I hate that we have lost Abbie, but I'm so thankful for all that has come from this trial. And we haven't really lost her, not really. We know where she is and we will be with her again one day in the presence of our God and Savior. She just went home first.
I'm so thankful for all that has come from this trial.
Praise God for his Goodness! His love! His promises! His faithfulness!
He's turned my mourning into dancing! My grief to joy! I feel like I can breath deep, life giving breathes! Hallelujah!
Praise God for being God!!
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:4-7; 12-13
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”