Monday mornings are hard here. Tony loves his daddy a lot and gets the whole weekend with him but then Tim has to go to work.
This Monday morning is a little bit harder. Because pollen. Baby boy has serious sinus drainage. He's gotten two nosebleeds in the last few days. And he's teething. Still. All the time. Lots of teeth.
It's been a morning of some play but mostly tears and frustrations. I don't know what's making him hurt and I don't know how to fix it. I just want to help him and all I can do is hold him, put him down, pick him back up, walk around, sit down, stand up, give him food, pick it up off the floor, turn on Daniel Tiger, turn off Daniel tiger, turn it back on and give him food. That's where we are right now. He finished a breakfast bar and is watching good ole Daniel Tiger sing a silly song and dress like an alien and ride a space train.
It's hard for me not to beat myself up on mornings like these. It's easy for me to think I'm a bad mom because there could be a million things making Tony upset and I don't know which one it is, and even if I did there's nothing I can really do to help, except hold him and try and comfort him and tell him I love him.
But not knowing what's wrong doesn't make me a bad mom. I'm doing everything I can with my limited knowledge. That makes me a good mom. I'm hugging him, holding him, praying for him, singing to him, bouncing him, feeding him, wiping his nose... I love him and I'm trying, and that makes me a good mom.
So I'm asking God for my daily bread. I'm asking for peace for us and comfort and for us to have a good day and for us to grow closer to Him today.
Leaning on God and texting my mom and making coffee is how I get through these days. But mostly the leaning on God, when I remember to ask Him for help. His help is the best help.
I'm so thankful for a God who is faithful and steadfast.
Time to pour some cheerios and drink some coffee and watch our favorite show: Gilmore Girls. Because during the course of writing this we have gone up and down the stairs, pulled out toys and put them back, looked out the window, saw a dog, wanted off the couch, picked him up, put him down, picked him back up again, and now he wants to eat. I think.
And time to listen for God in the crazy moments and the quiet moments. Time to move forward in His power and His peace. Time to play with my baby and comfort my baby.
Time to stop pouting about Monday being here and start being thankful for a gift of another day.