It's okay to not be okay right now. I don't have it have it all together.
It's been a month since we found out Abbie wasn't going to make it.
It's only been three weeks since the very emotionally traumatizing delivery.
It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to create space to grieve, cry, process. It's okay.
She will always be missed.
But God... but God is so good. He helps. He heals. He breathes life. He brings new mercies every morning.
Because of God I can work through the pain. Because of God I have hope.
He's given me some very fond and beautiful images of my daughter.
During the delivery she was holding us, too.
She has blue eyes. Blonde, out of control hair that will get darker as she gets older. She had a very full laugh, straight from her belly.
These images almost feel like memories. I'm so thankful for that.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." - Lamentations 3:21-24