I haven't talked about my grief in a while. For those of you who are new around here, my daughter was stillborn 9 months ago when I was 21 weeks pregnant. She had Turner's Syndrome. Losing a child is devastating and the only reason I'm functioning is because of the hope I have in Jesus, but that hope doesn't make grief any less tricky, just more, well, hopeful.
I know that this is a season. I know that all things are working for my good, so that means this is working for my good. I know that God is being glorified. I know that God gives me peace and comfort. I know that God is in control. I know my daughter is healed. All of these truths bring so much comfort and so much hope in these uncharted waters.
Right now I'm learning that grief doesn't only look different for different people, but there are different seasons of grief you go through. Seriously. Grief is like a toddler's schedule. Once you figure it out, it changes. The way my grief affected me (effected me? someone please tell me the difference, seriously though. I have no clue) 9 months ago is very different than it is affecting me right now, and I'm learning to have more grace with myself.
There are several different things I do to process and cope, one of those ways is art therapy. I sit down with no intentions but to paint. I create what I feel. I create what I want. I paint my grief. I paint for Abbie. I don't think. I just paint. There are guided sessions you can go to that I hear are incredible, those just aren't in the cards right now for me. But this is enough. Art is powerful, and I'm thankful that God is using it to help me through this season.